I am annoyed by something sexist in the paper

Apparently, men are no longer allowed to be men anymore. This according to "Top American columnist Kathleen Parker" who "argues that feminism has neutered men and deprived them of their noble, protective role in society". There was a helpful extract of her new book in the News Review of the Sunday Times and it really, really pains me.


Here is a quote:

"Our society's young men encounter little resistance against continuing to celebrate juvenile pursuits, losing themselves in video games and mindless, "guy orientated" TV fare – and casual sex."


I'm at a loss for where to begin with that one. We'll start with video games. There is a widely held misconception that gaming is a juvenile pursuit. It isn't a juvenile pursuit any more than listening to music or watching a film or reading a book is. Yes, there are games pitched at children but there are also games which have a big fat 18 certificate slapped on the box which are not supposed to be played by children (but try explaining that to the Daily Mail). It is in line with most other forms of entertainment. And, Ms Parker, half of all owners of the Nintendo DS are girls. The number of female gamers is increasing exponentially. They aren't all becoming perpetual adolescents.

And what is this "Guy Orientated" TV fare of which you speak? It can't be any worse that virtually any show pitched straight at the girlies. Sex and the City? Ten Years Younger? The only thing I ever learned from either of those shows is how to identify my flaws.


Oh yes, casual sex. In the extract, Ms Parker goes on to disparage this new idea of Friends With Benefits. She asks of a "booty call":


"Why […] would a girl do such a thing? Why would she service a man for nothing – no relationship, no affection, no emotional intimacy?"


I don't know, because girls too can enjoy sex? My apologies readers, I'm going to get a little frank here.

Some girls may, some nights, feel a battery operated friend is not what they require. A FWB is surely a much safer option than going to a bar and finding a One Night Stand. It also, theoretically at least, seems a far more dignified way of satisfying yourself than parading around like a bitch on heat and leaving with the first man drunk enough to have you.

It wouldn't be the right thing for me but I am 20% man and 80% Victorian, so there you go.


Casual Sex, apparently, can become physically boring. You think? I'm internally weeping at this woman.


Think of it this way. Chocolate Brownies taste good. Have a Chocolate Brownie for every meal and they will eventually become less good. You may even reach a point where you never want to have one ever again. Casual Sex is the same. As long as you are adult and responsible about it (remember: No Glove, No Love), why not? Eventually you will find somebody you love and settle down with them. That eventually may be when you are 20, it may be much…. much…. much…. much later.


A few blogs back I asked where all the men had gone, good naturedly mocking the rise in metrosexual culture and all that weeping in public they seem to be doing these days. What Ms Parker says we need is "boys who have acquired the virtues of honour, courage, valour and loyalty. We need women willing to let men be men – and boys be boys".


Let me tell you what I want. I want men (indeed everybody) to treat me as me. Not as a girl, not as a woman, not as somebody to be scared of because they understand the theoretical application of Lime plaster better than they do… just as me.


I cannot be pigeonholed as a female any more than any of you other girls can and vice versa. I am me and only me. I do not know any other way to act.

Forget all of this stupid gender politics and feminism and sexism and the rest of it. Get to know the person in front of you for who they are. Not as a man or a woman. Just as they are.

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